My ultra-personal inner monologue

Post envy

A young colleague of mine started her own blog a week or two ago. I read the first two posts that she’s done so far, and it’s not bad. I find it too long winding as it reports on what other people have done with little analysis or contribution of her own.

Ironically, she has now been linked to by one of the websites she discussed and she wasted no time in emailing everyone with this titbit. To my surprise I caught myself being jealous, especially as her email was labelled something to the effect of ‘my first bit of blog fame’ or suchlike.

Although I’m glad for her, obviously, I was slightly put out by the fact that she’s achieved a minor bit of success after two posts. This is not my first blog – I write some other blogs and have produced three different podcasts – and I haven’t had that type of exposure.

Sour grapes, no doubt.

However, there is another aspect to it as well. At our annual work party, we ended up chatting quite a lot. She talked my ears off, and I’m not sure whether she was merely drunk or stupid. Although, in my mind, they equate to pretty much the same thing.

‘She’s nice, but a bit empty between the ears’ was my initial thought. What I found surpirsing in this thought was that she can’t be all that daft. She has been a translator for two years in Europe for a language she only learned recently at university, and she is quite well travelled.

I have been accused (openly as well not-so-openly) as not suffering fools gladly. But then it amazes me when fools also find success.

Perhaps I need to let go of the notion that success only befalls hard working, diligent and smart people – pretty much synonyms in my view.

Speaking of successful blogs, a post on another one created quite a stir among friends and family reading it. The whole ‘immigration justification’ issue was raised, and it was difficult not to be defensive. It is natural to get on the defensive as a recent emigrant, as one already feels emotionally vulnerable. One is not interested to hear other people’s criticisms – one needs support.


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